Your relationship with authority has its origin in your relationship with the first person who laid down the law to you and backed it up with consequences which you definitely wanted to avoid. This is my definition for the word father
: that individual who laid down the ground rules of life
and backed them up with consequences with which you could not live.
For most this person will have been the biological father, however this could also have been a step-father, older brother or sister, or teacher. Even mother can be father by this definition just as father can be mother by definition: the primary caretaker in the earliest years of life.
Whoever this was for you, if you do not exist in the world in the experience of true equality, here is what happened: you withdrew yourself as a living acknowledgement of your Father’s love for you and went into a power strugglewith him. This power struggle has its origin in the function of the mind which is to survive by dominating and avoiding domination.
Then, for the rest of your life, whenever you are confronted with authority, you project all the patterns of struggle you created in relationship to your Father and thus you react to all authority as if it were your Father.
It does not begin this way, of course, it begins with the admiration and respect for your Father. To avoid domination you begin to oppose your Father at whatever level you think you can get away with. The opposition to father has its roots in the blame father takes for the family not working the way you visualize that it should work. When father is blamed it makes plenty of sense to a child to resolve to become the opposite of father. This is the root cause of opposition to father.
The form of your opposition to father is bent like a beam of light through the lens of your personality. If your basic personality movement is against others then your opposition looks like full-blown rebellion. If your basic personality movement is with others you will treat your Father well and simply think the most evil thoughts about him. If your basic movement is away from others your opposition will look like withdrawal and avoidance – you do your best not to think about him.
The journey home is a return to the condition of admiration and respect for your Father with recognition and acknowledgment of your Father’s absolute love for you. Reading this does not make it so for you, and you may now be saying to yourself, “No way, I am an exception, my Father, in reality did not love me.” It looks that way because your Father is an expression pf patrism as you yourself are an expression of patrism. Love expressed through the distorting lens of patrism is difficult to experience as love.
Or you may be saying to yourself, “I am an exception, I know that my Father loves me and I am on good terms with him.” That may be and it also may be a defense you have. It may not be exactly accurate, and if it is accurate you may well be incomplete with authority anyway because it has become the abstract social model in which people live to have evil thoughts about others in authority, and to not support those who appear to be in authority.
Here is the way home: I promise to fuse my identity with the idea that all expressions of love. Once again, there can be no exceptions. You cannot attach to the end of the promise the phrase, “except for the expressions of my Father” or “except for the way strangers treat me.”