Each individual bears the responsibility to derive an answer to the question "What is the Man/Woman Relationship?"
For the experience of these books to make any sense to you requires that we make a distinction, or definition, about men and women. It is literally true that no-one has noticed that there is a Man/Woman Relationship, a common ground from which we all come in relation to the other sex.
The Man/Woman Relationship is derived out of the entire history of human experience upon the earth. It comes out of the adaptation to the threats to our survival we have made over the past five, or more, million years of human development. These behavior / thought / feeling patterns which have worked to survive this species through the passage of time contribute a large part of the Man/Woman Relationship. We are animals, creatures of instinct.
The Man/Woman Relationship is also, and equally, derived from a spiritual, or thought, source: our individual, arbitrarily chosen beliefs about the true nature of men and women. We are godly, creatures of spirit and thought.
So, what I am saying is that the Man/Woman Relationship is derived from two sources. One is from the Instinct, a biochemical, hormonal, in short animal source, bound in our bodies. The other is derived from pure thought, a structure of beliefs, a stand we take about the matter, that is, a spiritual source.
The first, instinctual, source is constant and unchanging, derived from an unimaginable number of generations of human beings adapting to the environment, relating to the other sex in such a way as to cause the survival of both the individual and the species.
The second, spiritual source, in its present form, has been created much more recently, perhaps in the last few hundred years. This pure thought source of the Man/Woman Relationship is subject to change over a period of several life-times. Even within a single life-time we can see some movement.
The instinctual Man/Woman Relationship will not change, regardless of what we think about it, except in a time frame of millions of years. That which requires millions of years to develop requires millions of years to mutate. Donít wait for human nature to change in your own life-time. You will grow old and never have any fun. Furthermore, change is not necessary to a transformation of the Man/Woman Relationship.
So, the Man/Woman Relationship is the common ground from which we all come in relating to the opposite sex. All humankind shares the Instinctual Man/Woman Relationship, and all humankind shares certain basic assumptions of the spiritual Man/Woman Relationship, that relationship which is derived from pure thought, and is a function of all the Selves of the world.
The assertion I am making here is that there is such a common ground. There is a lot of evidence for this assertion which I will be presenting throughout these books. However, at this time, I am not asking you to do anything more than entertain the assertion, not believe it, or disbelieve it, simply entertain it.
If we look at life through the notion that there is a common ground from which we all come in our relationship with the other sex, then what we are interested in is a working answer to the question:"What is this common ground?", that is " What is the Man/Woman Relationship?", as precisely as we can define it.
Our criteria for any such definition should be the mastery it provides in living in a world populated largely by strange aliens: members of the opposite sex.
The entire purpose of these books is to allow you to define a working answer, a set of assertions, to the question "What is the Man/Woman Relationship?" To the degree that you derive a working, not rigid unchanging, answer to this question consistent with objective and subjective reality, you will have ease in deriving value from these books. My job is to present enough data for you to derive your own working answer.
A good working answer is always open to modification based on reality testing. My working answer to the question "What is the Man/Woman Relationship?" is flexible and open-ended. I am not going to present you with any final answers, for that would not empower you.
You will probably think I believe what I write. That is merely an assumption you make, because you try to be right by believing what you think. I do not think what I write is The Truth, otherwise I could not write it, and I do not believe it.
I am here to provide useful questions, and open up areas for questions which we assume are closed and unknowable, so much so that perhaps we do not notice those areas existing. Nothing is closed and unknowable, and there is much in life which is unnoticed.
Before we go further, I have a question for you to be with: In the long run, for humankind, which of the following is of greater significance: the relationship between East and West, Democrats and Republicans, North and South, liberals and conservatives, or the relationship between man and woman? Do not answer that question. Simply be with it.
TOPBOOK III, Chapter Two
The Realm Of Absolutes
The steps to regain Paradise are clear, easy to follow, and only require what most of us are unwilling to give: a life which is a Sacred Promise.
Is there a way out of the Tree of Judgment, the Realm of Opposites? Yes, and the method has been known for a long time. Yet because we exist in the Realm of Opposites, it escapes our attention. Here it is, in elegant simplicity:
Step 1: Choose an area of life you intend to transform.
Step 2: Declare a promise with the word "Absolute" (meaning no opposites) in front of the name of the area of life which you intend to transform, as in the following sentence structure: "I promise that I will experience all events in my life as manifestations of Absolute (name of area of life you intend to transform)."
Example: " I promise that I will experience all events in my life as expressions of Absolute Love."
Step 3: Create your resolve so that fulfilling this promise is of more value to you than life itself. In other words, although you will usually be required to live a joy-filled life to fulfill this promise, in fact you would also give up your life to fulfill this promise.
Step 4: Set your promise, and your resolve to live or die for it, in time, by appending these words: "for the rest of my life."
Example: " I promise that I will experience all events in my life as expressions of Absolute Love, for the rest of my life."
Of course, in order for this to make a difference in your life requires that your promises mean something to you. Most of us think a promise can be changed or re-negotiated any time. If you think that, you and I are not speaking the same language.
So, re-worded the entire declaration reads; " I promise that, for the rest of my life, I will experience all events in my life as manifestations of Absolute Love. I will back up this promise with my life, as long as I live."
If you are not being casual in reading this, that statement will stop you. It doesnít appear to be the easy way out, for it requires courage and willingness to become the source of your life and to have life turn out as you say you want it. It will make how you feel about things, and those little events that send your life reeling, appear small and insignificant.
In fact this statement will reorganize all those events, not only in the present, but in the past and future as well. In other words, not only does it work now, it will also work in the future, more remarkably, it will alter your interpretation and experience of what has already happened.
So, it doesnít appear to be the easy way out, and consider this: "The way to Hell is broad, and many there are who find it. The way to the Kingdom of Heaven is narrow and few there are who find it." To what was Christ referring? The Realm of Opposites is not hard to find, in fact it seems to be all there is. The Realm of Absolutes does not exist until you consciously create it. It is thus a narrow path, rarely even noticed in fact, not there until you create it.
On several occasions Christ told his friends that the Kingdom of Heaven was among them. He told one individual that he was "close to the Kingdom of Heaven." Could he have meant that the Realm of Absolutes was as available as a drink of water for those who would come in faith, as little children, not being arrogant as if already knowing it all?
In saying this, I in no way mean to imply that He was referring exclusively to this reality, and that there is not a parallel reality after death. I am simply pointing to the question: "Can there be life before death?"
In this reality, if a circumstance-determined life isn't Hell, there is no Hell. If a Being-determined life isnít Heaven, there is no Heaven. What I am saying is that both those realms are available here and now not only available, if you donít create one, you get the other automatically by default.
In the area of love, and in all areas, this works. If you do it and be it, it works. If you try it, and it doesnít work, you missed a step, I promise you.
Oneís Relationship With All Women
Locked into your relationship with the primary female nurturer of your earliest years is your relationship with all women. For this discussion, the word "Mother " will represent that relationship.
Book IV, Chapter Six
A System Which Excludes Its Creator
If you were clever, you could devise a system that would make you right, cost you a lot, and exclude you from re-organizing the system itself. You are clever.
There is a way out of this predicament, and that way out is to acknowledge your Mother, with nothing held back. The acknowledgment is, in part, for having gotten the job done, for having been perfect in that regard.
The proof, by the way, that she did get her job done is sitting in your chair now. You are the proof that she assisted you in surviving until you could survive on your own. That was her job, and she did it. If she had not, you would not be here to read this.
Your only complaint is with how she did it you decided you didnít like the way she did it. And you decided that she should win your Personality contest in order to make it with you.
The benefit of acknowledging her with a full, complete, and truth-filled acknowledgment is that two people grow up in relationship to each other, and one of them, you, grows up in his or her relationship with all women.
In order to acknowledge her, you donít have to like her. If you donít like her, you can go on not liking her and still acknowledge her for what is rightfully hers for which to be acknowledged. You would be silly to go on like that, and it has no bearing on your ability to deliver an acknowledgment.
All that is required of you is to discover (create) the truth about her that for which you can legitimately acknowledge her. You have part of the answer now: she got her job done.
However, until you create the rest of the answer you canít give a full acknowledgment because you literally donít know who she is. In other words, you are not in authentic relationship with her. You cannot give an authentic, complete acknowledgment until you are in authentic relationship with the person to whom you are giving the acknowledgment.
In this case, you are out of authentic relationship in the first place because you ceased giving the acknowledgment. So that which you want to be in relationship for, that is to give the acknowledgment, is exactly why you are not in authentic relationship, originally.
This is a very clever system which you constructed to exclude yourself. You cannot penetrate this system until you discover the other item for which to acknowledge Mother.
If you were to compare this system to a safe, the combination which opens the safe is locked inside the safe. The safe cannot be opened without the combination and the combination is inside the safe. To open this safe you must literally create the combination When, and only when, you open the safe will you be able to "prove" that it was the right combination.
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